NA is a nonprofit fellowship or society of men and women for whom drugs had become a major problem. We are recovering addicts who meet regularly to help each other stay clean. This is a program of complete abstinence from all drugs. There is only one requirement for membership, the desire to stop using. We suggest that you keep an open mind and give yourself a break. Our program is a set of principles written so simply that we can follow them in our daily lives. The most important thing about them is that they work.

There are no strings attached to NA. We are not affiliated with any other organizations. We have no initiation fees or dues, no pledges to sign, no promises to make to anyone. We are not connected with any political, religious, or law enforcement groups, and are under no surveillance at any time. Anyone may join us regardless of age, race, sexual identity, creed, religion, or lack of religion.

We are not interested in what or how much you used or who your connections were, what you have done in the past, how much or how little you have, but only in what you want to do about your problem and how we can help. The newcomer is the most important person at any meeting, because we can only keep what we have by giving it away. We have learned from our group experience that those who keep coming to our meetings regularly stay clean. -Basic Text

April 26, 2024

Caring for Ourselves, Caring for Others

Page 120

"We need to develop empathy and concern for others, and to let go of self- obsession without losing sight of ourselves."

Living Clean, Chapter 5, "Friendship"

Negotiating a balance between caring for ourselves and for others takes much self-awareness. It requires ongoing focus, discernment, and thoughtful action. Finding that combination of loving generosity in helping others while maintaining appropriate boundaries—the healthy interplay between independence and interdependence—is a lifelong pursuit for a recovering addict. Through the work we do on ourselves, our bent toward self-obsessiveness lessens as our empathy for others tends to deepen. What used to be a single-minded concern for "this addict" often becomes tempered with a genuine concern for other NA members. Many of us roll up our sleeves and get to work helping new members because we want them to experience the same relief and connection that we did. We have found a new way of life and want to share with them how we did it. Fair enough. But we may end up feeling like we need to save them and that we are the only ones who can do it. We take it personally when our suggestions are rebuffed. We mistakenly blame ourselves if they don't stay clean. This perspective is detrimental to our own recovery, reflecting a bit of that self-obsession we thought we had exchanged for kindness. We must show ourselves some care—and demonstrate some humility, even self-respect, often by taking a step back while still making ourselves available to help when asked. Knowing where support ends and enabling begins can be a baffling process that we revisit again and again throughout our recovery. Some of us develop excellent instincts in this regard and can support other addicts through the process of discovery for themselves.

———     ———     ———     ———     ———

I can care about others while still caring for myself. I can help others find what I'm finding in NA while maintaining my self-respect and being pragmatic about my powerlessness over other people.

Copyright (c) 2007-2023,  NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved